I am sure each and every one of us, have been told in this life that we cannot have everything we want, either by our parents, a teacher, a clergy member, a coach, or people we look up to. When that seed gets planted in our minds, it follows us every day, and unfortunately we pass it on to others, be it our kids, our friends, or people who look up to us. I only have one problem with the above notion: it limits us from getting what we want and we end up not living up to what we were meant to become or never live our dreams.
Somewhere along the way we were told:
You can’t have everything you want simply because you want it.
Money doesn’t grow on trees.
Can’t you think of anybody other than yourself?
Stop being so selfish!
Stop doing that and come do what I am doing.
It’s not God’s plan for you to live in that house, drive that car, or have your dream job… and many other mantras that we keep hearing over and over again until that seed of “you can’t have everything” gets planted in our brain.
With constantly hearing those ideas over time, most of us loose touch with our dreams, desires, and the needs of our bodies and hearts and end up stuck trying to figure out what other people want us to do. In the process, we end up learning how to act so as to get their approval, which results in most of us doing the things we don’t want, but instead what pleases a lot of other people.
Because of this conditioning, we become sensible and end up becoming numb to our own desires. No wonder that when you ask most people what they want to do with their lives or what they want to become, they always honestly answer that they don’t know. We carry with ourselves too many layers of “should’s”, “ought to’s”, and “you’d better’s”, that are piled on top of each other and end up suffocating what we really want.
The big question that most people struggle with is how to reclaim themselves so they can go back to living the lives they wanted with no inhibition, fear, or shame.How do we reconnect with our passion? For me, I decided to start honoring my preference in every situation, despite how small or large they are, without seeking anyone’s approval, because what might be very inconsequential to them might mean a lot to me. In the process, I am now living a happier and more fulfilling life.