There Is Nothing To See In Uganda

There is nothing to see in Kampala. Those were the first words I heard when I asked my friend about Kampala. For once, I could not believe that there was any single place in the entire universe with nothing to see. Even the sky has the stars that you can see. So out of curiosity, I decided to head there so I can see it for myself to believe there was nothing to see, and to make it fun, I decided to ditch the plane and opted to take the road. Trust me, it is long ways from Nairobi and before you decide to take the bus, be prepared for it.


Friday at 10p.m., I departed Nairobi on board Modern Coast bus to Kampala. Luckily, I booked a VIP seat (yup, they have VIP, first class, and regular sections inside the bus, I guess classification too has found its way out of the plane). The seats are spacious and comfortable and they recline as far as you wish. The journey is quiet; most people are asleep as I keep myself busy watching suits. Apart from a couple of stops, not much happens during the journey. We arrive at the border in Busia around 7a.m. in the morning; we have to clear at the border before we proceed to Uganda. The process takes forever before we are done, because the Uganda migration officials are so slow and don’t give a shit about time. Two hours later, we cross the border to Uganda.


The journey from the border to Kampala took forever, despite the distance not being so long, partly because of traffic and a speed limit that was too low. The countryside is beautiful green and hills all the way. To the guy who told me there was nothing to see, he must have slept throughout the journey, because the nature out there is awesome. We arrived in Kampala at around 2p.m. and my first impression of it was that it did not look like a capital city of any country; it would only pass for a small city somewhere in the countryside. Sooner or later, I started putting the pieces together as to why the guy said there was nothing to see. Throughout my journey, I did not see a single lady who would pass for a ten, judging by her looks, but the bum-bum was another story all together. They are endowed, it’s not easy to walk behind any lady without wondering why was the creator was so generous with them when it comes to bum-bum. The butt injection business here is dead.


After freshening up, I went down to the reception desk as I always do when I am in unfamiliar territories. I met David who was the receptionist, a very nice guy who hooked me up with Melly, a very nice chap to be my guide for the day. So with the help of Melly, we hit the streets.  The first thing I saw was an endless number of bodaboda, (see the pic below). 

They were everywhere and walking become a nightmare in the streets; juggling between dodging motorcycles and staring at the bum-bums became an art. There is a mall in every corner of downtown Kampala selling all sorts of merchandise, from clothes, shoes, spare parts, and electronics. Business seems to be booming in this place as my guide informs me that most people depend on business for survival as employment rates are very low and the pay is bad.


At nighttime, we decided to hit the streets so I could sample their nightlife. With the help of David, the guy I met at the hotel, I was set to hit the streets. The nightlife in Kampala is on another level of its own, the clubs we all visited had nice crowd with revelers, some of whom seemed to be still in their teen. The night hunters were in plenty everywhere we went. And when I asked Paul if they weren’t scared of aids, he said bluntly NO, which aids in Uganda falls under the class of common cold, which is not a big deal. After hitting a couple of joints and having consumed enough milk for the night, we decided it was time to call it a day and I headed to my room to rest. 


The following day it was time to hit the road and head back to Nairobi, the city where traffic never ends and people are always on stand by to turn anything to a meme and hash tag. But the trip back home was the epitome of my whole trip as we had a pee party in the middle of nowhere……. Stay tune to hear all about the pee party.



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