My Only Death Wish

Death is a merciless monster. It comes when no one expects it and neither does it give warning. What a bitch. It does not select neither does it spare when it strikes. Death unfortunately is the only thing that makes us equal, since no one has ever successfully evaded it. It kills the king and the servant, a father and a child, a priest and his congregation. Many of us have resigned to its fate and we don’t dare ask why anymore, but this once I decided to be a madman, knowing very well that I will never get an answer. But every time death comes knocking, I relentlessly ask why.


Although I have come to an understanding that death is inevitable and that it is our common destiny as living creatures, I plan to make my departure less traumatizing to the people I leave behind, and in that spirit, I have one wish, and only one wish. Please, when I die, don’t go on social media posting all those nice things about me that you didn’t care to tell me when I was alive. But, if you did get a chance to say them to me personally, I am grateful you did and there is no need to post them for the entire world to see. But if it will bring closure to you by posting it, please can you wait until I am buried? Is that too much to ask? I understand we are social media friends and you have a right to mourn me the best way you know how, but let us be honest, you will only mourn me for a day at most, and then you will go back to your normal life. But there are some people who will mourn me the rest of their lives, and it would be better if they don’t learn of my demise from your social media post.


Why am I whining about RIP messages on social media? I am not a whiner, and the ones who know me know this to be true. But even assuming I am a whiner, let’s be real for once. Couple of weeks ago, some of my very good friends were in a tragic car accident and unfortunately, two of the occupants succumbed and they are no longer with us. May their souls find comfort wherever they desire. The other two survived and I am wishing them a quick recovery. But minutes later after the accident, with no clear information and no names released to the public by first responders and police, some people took to social media and started posting RIP messages and all the good things we care to say about the people who are dead. I wonder who lied to us that the dead can still read messages on their social media account, or why else do we post them?


As fate would have it, some people across the Atlantic from where the accident took place saw the messages, and without them caring to find facts, went ahead and started posting their RIP messages. Minutes later, the news reached the family of one now surviving victim of the accident that she was dead. Take a minute and think about how the parents felt learning of the death of their kid via social media, while in fact she was still fighting for her dear life, miles away in a hospital room. So as culture demanded in their village, they lit a fire signaling that one of them had gone. Before even the fire could catch feet, they received a call from the hospital that their daughter was admitted and in critical condition, and so they had to put the fire out. Can you imagine the pain and confusion that took place in that homestead because someone was too quick to post stuff without first getting all the facts?


Now you do understand why I don’t want you, no matter our friendship level, to feel obliged to post RIP messages on my social media when death defeats me? I don’t want what happened to that home to happen in our home. To many of us, someone else’s death is just another person departing, but to their loved ones, it is a wound that will never heal, and the last thing they want from us is more pain to bear what life has served them. To my departed friends, I know you will find peace wherever your souls lead you, and to the ones fighting for their lives, you are not alone, we will fight together, so don’t give up. Now we can go back to life as we always do and let the bereaved mourn in peace.



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