"Illusion is needed to disguise the emptiness within" Arthur Erickson.
Do you ever find yourself doing something or deeply entrenched in something that at times it throws you off? You find yourself asking yourself too many questions that even you yourself cannot phantom? I have been there and I can say its not one of situations I would rather find myself in. It troubles you for so long and most often than not leaves you feeling lost, and at times trying to find yourself when you are not even sure where you lost yourself.
A few days ago I saw a post on Facebook posted by someone who we are friends with and it got me really thinking. Nothing fills faster the vacuum left by an empty life, an empty soul than negativity. The person who posted the post had claimed that he had evidence that his best friends had something to do with the death of their toddlers and he was threatening to give details on Facebook. To start with this is a serious allegation to make, why he thought doing it in public was beneficial I cant still come up with an answer except that he was being malicious. Second how does a grown man think that the best way of solving his personal issues is through social media? This is just one example, a scroll through social media post of diaspora’s will leave you wondering how empty is their lives since nothing gives them more joy than negative things.
Before you dismiss me off; just remember I was a victim not long ago. Since now I have the opportunity to think back owing to the fact that I am in a different position everything is becoming clear why I felt so empty. Just take a minute and think about all the post or stories you have heard today while you were busy hustling and ask yourself some serious question such as:
1. Why are we so quick to share people mug shots than their graduation pictures?
2. Why are we so thrilled to crucify those who have been alleged to commit crimes than sharing their struggles and success stories?
3. Why are we so adamant to contribute to help someone get through with their struggles but we don’t need even to be told to contribute to send their remains home when they die?
4. Why does stories of someone marriage hitting a rock, someone cheating or being cheated on spread like wild fire than their stories of celebrating an anniversary?
5. How come when our brothers and sisters back home meet for a drink they discuss substance while on this other side we are busy gossiping about our friends?
How else do you explain this? People who don’t have empty lives don’t have time for such stuff because they are busy enjoying life and not just going through it.
Fifteen month ago I could not take it any longer no matter what my present life had to offer. The emptiness I felt almost drove me to insanity. No amount of money, travelling, work business or anything you can think of could fill the emptiness. At that very moment I knew it was time to act before getting myself too comfortable with the emptiness. You will be surprised how our bodies can be accustomed to anything even worse as pain. I know people who found comfort in emptiness and the last thing I wanted was to be like them. Life has so much to offer and no way or anything would make me miss out of it. In other word I had to choose between emptiness or enjoying all the beautiful things life had to offer and I choose the latter.
Choices are tough to make and all of us we would rather not find ourselves in situation that demand us to do so but then life doesn’t work like that. At that very moment I made the choice to leave everything I was accustomed to like a good car, a good job, a better country in term of infrastructure, security and respect for the rule of law, money, family, and friends for the chaos back home. Home for me was the only place I would keep my sanity. At times the chaos can be so much that it makes me think I made a mistake but countless of times are those that I never have a doubt I made the right choices.
What most people could not and still to date can’t understand is how someone can find fulfillment in the midst of chaos. There is no way I can explain this because for one to feel that change from emptiness to fulfillment a lot of adjustments and changes are needed; and as human’s change is not our cup of tea. Speaking from my personal experience a year and half later I can say without a doubt that I haven’t felt more alive than I do at the moment. Despite lacking access to all the things that made life convenient and surviving on bare minimum there is no way you can compare the quality, meaning, and purpose I find in life to my previous life. In no way I am saying that all those things that made life convenient are worthless but the truth is there is more happiness in forging personal relationship to materialistic stuff. (The use of the word happiness is intentional knowing very well happiness is relative).
We all know of young boy or girl who migrated and ended up spending all their youth locked up, we have seen people who have had successful relationship back home break up within month after migrating, we have seen parents who have lost control of their teen children because they are always working, we have found ourselves engaging in activities or actions that would never cross our mind back home, we have become drunks since alcohol seem to be the only thing that provide solace since we only see each other when someone is dead or their is a big function due to schedules, we hang each other nudity all in the open with little care or concern who it will affect, and much more than we care to remember. What all this does at the end of the day is to steal the fulfillment that gives meaning to life.
Disclaimer! What I am sharing here is a personal experience and my own interpretation of things from my standpoint. In no way should it form a base to generalize things as we all see and perceive things differently. Most people do things or they are in their current situations because of their circumstances. But with that being said most people who migrate to other countries find themselves lost in the system. There are to many changes that are required to be made from the way we think, the way we do things, the way we speak that its easy to get yourself lost in midst. With all this changes you require a good support system that is not always available or you risk ending up in a worse situation than you were running from.